Peace Partnership

The Most Important Question No One Asks

Posted by on Aug 1, 2015
The Most Important Question No One Asks

We all want to be happy. I often ask people, “What do you want out of life?” and people frequently respond with something like, “I want to have a great job that pays well and be in a loving, lasting relationship.”

This response is so predictable and generic it no longer carries any real meaning.

Here’s a better question at predicting success in life: What are you willing to struggle for?

479ae598-1652-4f61-afb5-eb59b31347b5Everyone wants a high-paying, enjoyable job. But few people are willing to struggle through the 60-hr workweeks, unbearable bosses, years of education, and lazy coworkers to get there.

Everyone wants a loving relationship with lots of great sex. But few people are willing to struggle through the hard conversations, hurt feelings, and self-sacrifice to get there.
All through my teens until my mid 20’s I dreamed about becoming a professional hunter. Growing up in Colorado naturally fueled this fantasy. I wanted to travel the world and shoot all kinds of exotic animals. I would watch hunting DVD’s and dream about buying all the top gear. But the reality never came, and years later I finally figured out why: I didn’t really want it. The fact of the matter is I just don’t like eating freeze-dried food and sleeping in a tent for weeks at a time.

Our self-help culture would say I failed myself, or say I wasn’t courageous enough to follow my dreams. But they are wrong. The truth is, I thought I wanted something and as it turns out, I didn’t. Sometimes it’s smart to give up, end of story.

I wanted the reward, the end result. I didn’t want the struggle.

But true happiness requires struggle, and struggling can produce benefits. It can help you develop the ability to effectively manage your own negative emotions and to successfully navigate tough times with people you care about.

The things we are willing to struggle with define us. Choose wisely, friends.


Thank You!

We’ve had a pretty exciting summer. It’s kind of hard to believe that the beginning of school is just around the corner! Jon and Jenny are ready to be back in schools at the end of the month meeting a new group of students. Of course, this is only made possible by all of you who have partnered with us this year. So here are this month’s “Thank You Notes”:

We greatly appreciate the financial support of our partners. Thank you for believing in what we do. If you would like to find out how to become a partner, please click on the link below or contact our Director of Development, Jeff Cox at jeff@peacecounseling.org.

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