Why can it be so hard to bounce back from rejection?
I remember a time when I feared rejection so badly that it impacted a significant portion of my life. I was in third or fourth grade when I arrived at this fork in the road. One sign read, “Bright future ahead” and the other, “Be prepared to fail”. The only problem was that I had to squint really hard to see either sign, which is when I realized I needed glasses. I had a choice to make. Either I say something to my parents and they get me glasses – helping me to better see the path toward a bright future, or I could choose to say nothing about it and brace myself for failure.
Some might wonder, where’s the dilemma here? Well up until that point I had made fun of people who wore glasses. I didn’t think it was cool. I didn’t want to be rejected in the same way that I was rejecting others. However, not being able to see the black board when the teacher called on me, put me at a huge disadvantage. Ultimately, I couldn’t let people think that I had nothing to offer, so on went the mask of the class clown. This is where I learned that we are in control of our choices, but not the consequences.
I BECAME SOMEONE I WAS NOT
When the Apostle Peter denied Jesus three times, he also became someone he was not. Denial is a form of rejection – rejection of the truth. When we reject the truth of God, we are rejecting what is true about us as well. In order to maintain this false identity, and not be found out, we must wear different masks along the way. Here are the three masks that Peter wore to hide his true identity:
The Mask of the Fool
“Now when Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard, and a servant-girl came to him and said, ‘You too were with Jesus the Galilean.’ But he denied it before them all, saying, ‘I do not know what you are talking about.’”
How many times have we played the fool to avoid being found out? There is a popular term being thrown around these days called “gaslighting”. Those who engage in “gaslighting” make everyone around them feel like they are the fool, and just like Peter, they know exactly what they are doing. We know this because before someone can tell a lie they have to first detour around the truth. This can be seen played out in the garden of Eden when Satan gaslights Eve. Satan and Eve both knew the truth of what God told Adam:
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Indeed, has God said, “You shall not eat from any tree of the garden”?’. The woman said to the serpent, ‘From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, “You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die”. The serpent said to the woman, ‘You surely will not die!’”
This is most likely the first time that Adam and Eve ever felt inadequate. I remember feeling that way when I couldn’t see the board and was uncertain as to what the answer was. Instead of admitting I needed help, I remained in a constant state of inadequacy. One of the consequences of choosing to remain in this state was the kind of people that I attracted – they were lost, broken, and inadequate fools just like me. Is this the natural consequence when we choose not to walk with God (even for a moment), and entertain an audience with the Devil? The Book of Proverbs tells us, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm”. There is one thing I knew with absolute certainty and that is that I was suffering. I could not let anyone see how bad I was hurting inside, so I insulated myself further with another mask.
The Mask of the Liar
The truth was that I was not okay. Every day I felt like I belonged less and less. The mask of the fool became such a part of me that I told myself a lie that I ended up believing – that I was stupid. I remember when my neighbor would call me stupid. I would get so mad because I already believed this to be true about myself. One can hardly blame my neighbor for believing this to be true, since I regularly wore the mask of the fool. What we present to the world becomes their perception of us.
What lengths will we go to not be rejected?
The Apostle Peter demonstrates the act of doubling-down on his claim of not knowing Jesus by telling a lie.
“When he had gone out to the gateway, another servant-girl saw him and said to those who were there, ‘This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.’ And again, he denied it with an oath, ‘I do not know the man.’”
The more we lie, the more distance it creates between us and the truth. This is what happened between Jesus and Peter. Peter went from sitting in the courtyard (being closer to Jesus) to going all the way out to the gateway (being further away from Jesus). If you are reading this and feel distant from someone, it could be that you or they, are feeling rejected. The decision to not grow in this area leaves us with only one avenue – to burrow down deeper as the final mask of rejection shows itself.
The Mask of the Imposter
“A little later the bystanders came up and said to Peter, ‘Surely you too are one of them; for even the way you talk gives you away.’ Then he began to curse and swear, ‘I do not know the man!’ And immediately a rooster crowed.”
In Peter’s final denial, he became someone he was not. Peter went from speaking a certain way that associated him with Jesus, to cursing and swearing in hopes to throw the bystanders off his scent. Now to be fair, Peter was fearing for his life at this point. He did not want to end up being crucified right along with Jesus. At the same time, aren’t there parts of ourselves that we should absolutely crucify and/or reject: the part of ourselves that does not have our best interest in mind, the part of ourselves that means us and others harm, and the part of ourselves that distances us from God. If these destructive parts are not rejected, then this final mask could very well find its permanent home.
The Rooster Crows
After Peter denied Jesus the third time, the rooster crowed immediately. What should we do when our rooster crows? We can look at the rooster crowing as an alarm bell that goes off whenever we are about to mask up. What we are truly seeking is acceptance. Tony Robbins said, “Success is buried on the other side of rejection”.
It’s time to dig up the part of us that is willing to take the risk to succeed. It’s true that we may get hurt, but if we don’t take the risk, then we will never truly be loved either. There are many times in life that you might have thought you were rejected, however if you were wearing a mask at that time, it wasn’t the real version of you that was rejected. Next time you find yourself at a fork in the road, listen for the rooster.
🏌️♂️🏌️♀️ Get ready for our 8th Annual Golf Classic, September 26! 🏌️♂️🏌️♀️
Presented by
📅 Date: Thursday, September 26
📍 Location: Adams Pointe Golf Club, Blue Springs, MO
⏰ Tee-off Time: 8:30 AM
Join us for a day packed with camaraderie, competition, and community support. Registration and sponsorships are open now, offering fantastic opportunities for businesses and golf enthusiasts alike.
Sponsorship benefits include brand visibility, networking opportunities, and positive PR. Plus, by participating, you're directly supporting our nonprofit counseling office and vital mental health services in our community.
Highlights of the day include a scramble format suitable for all skill levels, on-course contests, and an awards ceremony.
Secure your spot today and be part of this incredible event! Register now or reach out to Naomi at 816.272.0653 or naomi@peacecounseling.org for sponsorship inquiries.
We extend our heartfelt gratitude to our generous donors whose unwavering support fuels our mission. Your kindness empowers us to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those we serve, and we are deeply grateful for your invaluable contribution. With a heart of gratitude, we acknowledge our April partners:
Thank you, Blue Springs Christian Church, for joining us to provide affordable counseling for those in our community who need it most. Your new gift commitment encourages us in our mission.
We are grateful to Mantel Teter, Debbie Miller – Sr. Insurance Specialist, and Christy Yager – Edward Jones, for your 8th Annual Golf Classic sponsorship. Your event support is vital to our mission to help others. Thank you!
To our golf team registrants, Brandon Blanchard, Tom and Joel Reed, and Mark Arreguin – EPR Properties, we are excited to have you golf with us once again. You are playing a part in providing healing for so many.ed in our community. Your heart for others is so evident. Thank you for your gifts.
To all of our faithful monthly and recurring supporters — THANK YOU from our Peace Partnership team! – Stone AMP SEO, Jeff & Lacey Cherry, Zane & Melissa Morerod, Mark McDonald, Jondy & Heather Britton, Matt & Kristy Newton, Clayton & Pam Wooldridge, Mark & Cathy McGaughey, Greg & Jennifer Spears, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, Metcalf Auto Plaza, Mike & Jan McGraw, Cory & Leslie Young, Midwest Accident Reconstruction Services, Stan & Deb Oglesby, Willie & Adia Valdes, Shelly Schuman, Linda Hartman, Dave & Rosie Bourland, Clean Heart Maids, Rudy & Stacy Blahnik, Mike & Tracy Pruitt, Mike & Sandra King, Diane Smith, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Andre & Rose Fantasma, Kevin Quinn, Genesis Counseling, Scott & Lydia Hurley, Jon & Naomi Thompson, John Otradovec, Larry Curtis, Tamara Stroud, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Joel & Ruthie Morris, Church at Coffee Creek, John & Vicki Hefner, Jenny Glasgow, Teddy Koehler, Brandon & Vanessa Blanchard, Summit Springs Church, Jason & Val Schram, and Rick & Jan Britton.
We appreciate each and every one of you!
Want to hear more about our work in the community? Contact Naomi Thompson, our Director of Development, at: 816.272.0653 or naomi@peacecounseling.org. We want to get to know you and personally thank you for supporting our mission. To make a donation through our website, please click on the link below.
Have you or someone you know been helped by Peace Partnership or Genesis Counseling? If so, would you please consider paying it forward to help another find healing along their journey? We are asking anyone who is not currently partnering with us financially to consider donating $100/year for the next 3 years to help make a difference in someone else’s life. Collectively, we can help SO MANY PEOPLE! Please consider a gift today. Call the office for help getting your gift set up or choose a recurring donation on our website here. We are so grateful for your help changing lives!
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