In marriage, your spouse may know more about you than you do! The trick to real growth is to do your part in creating an environment where your spouse feels safe and secure enough to share these invaluable secrets with you. This can result in better teamwork when each of you fully understands the other’s strengths and weaknesses and is willing and able to adjust as needed to reflect a healthy whole unit.
2. How Unfaithfulness Happens
Here is a basic formula (by basic, I mean generally true although not 100% reproducible) for why people are unfaithful in relationships:
self-gratification + lack of intimacy = cheating
Think of this like a spectrum scale. On one side of the spectrum you have self-gratification, on the other side you have intimacy. If at any point the self-gratification side outweighs the intimacy side, you get infidelity.
3. Sad, Bad, Mad, Glad
When you allow your emotions to define how you see the world you become self-absorbed. Everyone wants to feel better, but feeling better is not necessarily being better. For example, you may feel anger towards a spouse, child, or sibling, but that anger does not define your relationship with them.
Hating someone for something they did or didn’t do in the past keeps the injury alive in the present. Let it go, even if they don’t deserve it. Cancel their debt. Forgiveness frees us from many destructive emotions. This doesn’t mean that you deny what happened, but as long as you are still holding the offender accountable you are unavailable to allow anyone else to help you in the healing process.
5. Learn to Welcome Negativity
Ironically, chronic positive thinking fosters greater closed mindedness. The chronic positive thinker must always be vigilant to block out potentially negative feedback or criticism – even if that feedback may ultimately lead them to the happiness they’re seeking. People who refuse the negative will suffer from it, while the ones who accept the negative will find the power to change it. Could this be true for chronic negative thinking as well? In short, yes! Balance is the key.
6. Are You Successful?
The criteria that we use to measure success in our lives leads to long-term, real life consequences, and those consequences determine nearly everything. For example, I’m not famous, and I don’t make a pile of money, but I help improve people’s lives. I think that makes me successful – and not by some standard I cooked up in my head either. The measuring stick you use matters. If I saw you at a restaurant tomorrow and asked, “What criteria for success are you using to measure yourself?” How would you answer? How will you measure your life?
Christmas time can get so busy that we forget to stop and take time to be thankful for all that we have been given. We definitely do not want to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that we forget to express our thanks. So here are our “Thank You Notes”:
- Thank you, EPR Properties, for valuing your employees and fostering charitable giving. Your matching gift was a pleasant surprise!
- Thank you, Independence Audio, for your partnership. Your financial gift helps students in your community.
- Thank you, Mater Giving Fund and Barnett Family Charitable Fund, for your generosity. Your giving makes our work possible.
We appreciate the support of all of our partners. Your gifts are invaluable. Thank you for believing in what we do. If you would like to find out how to become a Peace Partner, please click on the link below or contact our Director of Development, Jeff Cox: firstname.lastname@example.org.
We would also like to wish you a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year”!